Posts archive for: 16 February, 2007
  • WORK TO LIVE OR LIVE TO WORK

    Do we work top live, or do we live to work? For the majority of my life i have worked for minimum wage, stuck in a rut with walls far to deep to scale. I sometimes think i will never find an escape route, and this is it, all life has to offer.

    At this moment in time i am suposed to be lacing and stretching a couple of football shirts for framing. I earn my keep, so to speak a a picture framer and for some reason the past few weeks has seen an amazing increase in the number of shirts being brought in to be framed. i've cut the mounts, but i need to cut the wood and the glass and assemble it. I'm just having a sneeky five minutes with a mug of coffee and a chocky bicky.

    I realy should go and get some work done, but my mind is on other things. last week i submited my script to the BBC, a sit com piolet. i dont know how the ground stands for first time writers with the BBC, but what the Hell, i have nothing to loose in trying do i?

    I have been writing for years, all i have managed to get into print as yet is several pieces of poetry, though for these i received no payment. My novel has been rejected three times, im tempted to feed it to the shredder, but so much work has gone into it i cant bring myself to do it, i may give it one last try.

  • I'M NO LESS A MAN BECAUSE

    .I DON'T LIKE FOOTBAL
    .I DONT DRINK (MUCH)
    .I DONT DRIVE
    .I'M SCARED OF SPIDERS AND MOTHS
    .I DON'T MIND IRONOING
    .I'M HOPELESS AT DIY
    .I LIKE SALAD
    .TAKE THAT ARE OK
    .I'D SOONER WATCH HOLBY CITY THAN ENGLAND PLAY IN THE WORLD CUP
    .I WRITE POETRY
    .I NEVER GOT INTO BAY WATCH
    .I DONT FIND ABBY TITMAS SEXY

  • THINGS TO DO B4U DIE

    .LEARN TXT TALK

    .EAT A DEEP FRIED MARS BAR

    .MARY AND DIVORCE IN VEGAS

    .MOON AT A NEWS CASTER

    .DRESS AS A WOMAN

    .STREAK AT A SPORTING EVENT

    .HECKLE A COMEDIAN

    .PHOTOCOPY YOUR GENITALS

    .PISS OF THE MOB

    .WATCH EVERY BOND MOVIE BACK TO BACK

    .BE ABDUCTED BY ALIENS

    .HAVE A FULL BODY WAX

    .TELL THE BOSS WHAT YOU REALLY THINK OF HIM/HER

    .DECLAIR YOUR LOVE FOR KYLIE VIA HER WEB SITE

    .FIND GOD

    .SEARCH FOR A CURE

    .CHALLENGE THE GRIM REAPER TO A GAME OF SNAP

    .GO BACK IN TIME AND TELL YOURSELF HOW YOU DIE, THEN AVOID IT

  • WHAT THEY REALLY MEAN

    IN RTETROSPECT - shit, i didn't aught to have done that.

    WITH ALL DUE RESPECT- your talking bollocks

    LONG TIME NO SEE- i hoped i'd seen the last of you

    YOUR LOOKING WELL-have you put weight on?

    MMM! VEGY CASSEROLL- is the chippy open?

    FANCY A DANCE? -i've not pulled in months

    IT LOOKS LIKE A GRAT FILM- Angelina Jolie gets her kit off

    I AGREE, WHAT A SLAPPER- wow!

    I'LL CALL YOU- see you loser

  • IT'S TIME TO GET A NEW JOB WHEN

    .the tea boy gets promoted over you

    .after ten years the bos still doesnt know your name

    .you dont get invited on team building weekends

    .you find out everyone has been going out on a Friday night for the past seven years

    .everyone stops talking when you enter the staff room

    .everyone goes for an elongated fag break

    .you're the only one for whom they dont have a collection on your birthday

    .you do a full days work every night in your sleep

    your paying more on bills than you earn

    .

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