Andrew's beach front bar

This morning I heard the new Girls aloud record on the radio, and before I knew who it was I turned to my wife and said, "I like this song."

shoot me before I do something really awfull like confessing to likjing the new Ray Quin song.

I think is the word.

I ate too much again, i do it every christmas.

Drank too much too.....

how was everyone elses day?

We were sitting in the living room eating lunch and watching Black Adder goes forth on DVD. Behind us, from the kitchen we heard the sound of breaking glass. Quickly we jumped up and rushed into the kitchen to investigate, but found nothing.

After a few moments we went back to our lunch and thought nothing more of it.

Some time later i took the lunch pots into the kitchen, filled the sink and began to wash them, as i did so i droped a drinking glass, but it went with hardly any sound!!!

Someones just brought a piture in they need for monday, and as i have no more to do...............

All done, now i can relax....

but i felt the need to share this.

Customer walks into the shop and says, 'can you frame me this for christmas?'

I said, 'i cant do it you for christmas, not at this late stage.'

he scoweld, and said, 'your suposed to lok after your customers. what sort of sertvice are you providing?'

it's not like he's a regular customer, never seen the bloke before.

he gathered his things together, stormerd out of the shop with a, 'well there are plenty more framers around. you just lost yourself some money. may i sugest you get yourself more staff if you cant cope...'

yea, ba humbug to you aswell mate.....

I created the top 20 chocolate ,movies list(!)

1. Revel without a cause.
2. The malteser falcon.
3. Mars bars atacks.
4.Marathon Snickers man.
5. Chocolate Hob nobs and broom sticks.
6. Kit cat woman.
7. Picknic at hanging rock.
8. Box of turkish delights.
9. Mary Poppets.
10.The horse whispa er.
11. Cocolate.
12. Munchies a do about nothing.
13. The may twix. (!)
14. Dime bar another day.
15. The Bourbon identity.
16. Layer Jaffa cake.
17.A clockwork chocolate orange.
18. Fight club.
19. Carloto's milky way.
20. a fist full of dime bars.

A week today will be Christmas day, and so far I have not bought a single present.

Loks like being last minute again...

setting up my Face book profile, and came into contact with a couple of people i havnt seen since leaving school over twenty years ago.

Been catching up....

A fetish and a perversion?

A fetish you use a feather.

A perversion you use the whole chicken.

I woke this morning to the sounds of the ocean. Pulled back the curtains to watch the sea lashing against the shore. Had breakfast beneath a palm tree........

I've been dreaming again havent I? I knnew it was a dreram because when I woke up my feet were out of the duvet and I had frtost bite in my toes.

Jesus, it's bloody cold, I am typing this with my nose cos my fingers have snapped off.

This morning I took a short cut through the local cemetry to get to the bus stop to come to work.

The cemetry was deserted, it was still dark, it was raining, all the trees were bare, black clouds hung over head, and a single magpie sat on a grave stone.

I stood and looked at it, and i saw a prize winning photo opportunity. As is alwayt the case in this situation i didn't have my camera with me, but i do havbe one on my mobile.

I fumbled for it quickly, my fingers were cold and numb and had very little feeling. I turned the phone on and waited for it to be ready, and waited, and waited.....

I guess you all know whats coming. Yea, it flew away.

The same thing happened some years ago when i was on a fishing trip on lock ness and a large serpant type creature rose up out of the water......

So i wont.

In our art shop we sell the usual art supplies, including as you would expect brushes. Some of the sable hair brushes retail at £135 each, and come down to as little as a pound each.

A customer has just returned one of these pound brushes claiming that the hairs keep coming out. We exchanged it for him, but pointed out that although we do sell a fair few of these, they are the lower end of the market, and ther fact theart they are so cheap does have an affect on the qulity.

The customer said, "You call a pound cheap? I was going to complain that it was expensive just for a brush."

Is it 1925 or something? Is he unawhere of inflation?

Acording to The Metro this morning Victoria Beckham has said not to expect to see David doing any acting any time soon because he is not an actor.

Well it's never stopped her trying has it.

Did anyone see her attempts in Ugly Betty?....Stick to the day job love...well, actually....

I would have to say him....

or him...

or him...

sadly they were all taken away from us.

You know how sometimes you make an off the cuff remark to a stranger, like, just to make conversation, well i just did it.
I was in the newsagents, and i went to the counter with a copy of the radio times, 2 bags of crisps, a tube of smarties, pack of pork scratchings, two twix and a flap jack.

I said to the woman behind the counter as she rang it into the till,

'It's not all for me. honest..'

she looked up at me and went,

'Egh?'

I said,

'I said it's not.....oh, it doesnt ,matter, moments gone now.'

The reason I ask, I read a piece in a magazine and some stylist woman was saying that Leona Lewis would need to lose weight to crack the US market.

She looks fine to me.