Andrew's beach front bar

1. I enjoy many things.
2. repeat the above 98 times.

an interview with singer Andy Scott Lee, the brother of one of Steps.

He was asked, "Have you ever been attacked by an animal?"

he answered, "We were once shooting a video and we were in the watewr with penguins. one of them started coming for me, i had to get out or it would have had my leg off. I've never been so scared in my life...."

A penguin? Yea, cos they're renound for eating people arent they?

This morning i was crossing the road, lights changed to a green man so i set off, taxi coming at speed, and i was thinking, "He's not slowing down." he got close, started papping on his horn and gesturing to me like i'm the one in the wrong. What's that about?

they said she was not ill, and that she would be better at home because there is a lot of infection on the wards.

Some of you may recall that just before christmas my 97 year old nan was taken into hospital where she remained for several weeks before finaly going home early last month.

This morning she was discoverewd by her neighbour layoing on the kitchen floor, where she has been since she fell yesterday evening.

she was frozen, and very confused, and was taken by ambulance back into hospital.

we all tried to tell her that she was not well enough to live alone, but she was very insistant, so we backed down.

this time she will not be allowed to return home alone, and it seems the time has come that she will have to move into a nursing home as it is becoming cklear that she is in need of around the clock care.

she has not been eating again, dispite the fact that meals are delivered daily, she is not eating them, with nobody there to check up on her.

right now she is in the A and E department at the hospital, but is sure to be admitted once again.

Some bloke on the radio just said that porn is bad, and men who look at porn are as good as cheating on their partner.

He said those men who look at porn, and espicialy the ones who mastaurbate to it have something lacking in their relationship.

Woops!

So how do you have yours?

My way usualy gets a strange reaction from people.

Lay the pancakes out on the plate, place on top mashed potato, 2 pork sausages and sprouts, yup you heard, sprouts...then cover with thick onion gravey. yum!!!!

By the way, apologies for not been around much of late, been kinda busy. I've been working on my script which i am hoping to submit to the BBC, i know the chances are pretty slim but one can hope.

I have just compleated the third, and hopefully final draft. if any one is interested in having a sneeky peek let me know and i may put a section of it on here, but only if enough people arte interested.I dont want top bore people.

Last night i caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror and had one of thiose 'Oh my God' moments.

I was wearing slippers and a cardigan, and drinking a mug of Horlicks.

I was watching The antiques roadshow, and looking in the radio times to see if last of the summer wine was coming on.

I know one magpie is for sorow, and two for joy. I just saw seven. what does that mean?