Andrew's beach front bar

Whilst driving back from Tesco about an hour ago the fog was so thick visibility was virtualy zero. As the head lights pierced their way through the dense fog it was like something out of a horror film. In the air there was a strange pinky tinge, never seen anything quite like it.

Now were in the warm house, the heating is on, we have been to the chippy, and are preparing for a night infront of the TV with a bottle of vodka.

Where has this year gone?

I am not ready for Christmas yet. I haven't even given any thought to buying any presents yet. I leave it later and later every year, even though I tell my self I will do it earlier.

Almost summer, onwards we trudge
To the humble emblematic shadows of Earthly pastures
Pungent with aromas
From beyond The infinite spaces of tomorrow.
When eyes convene with luminosity
And rays of sun on flesh
Then life everlasting will cultivate from a seed
To a new beginning
Hear those voices, angelic to most
With feelings of warmth
Growing stronger and smiling
At the ascent of summer.

c andrew mark bedell

Thats the way Woolies and MFI have gone, the company that owns PC World and Curys looks to be in trouble too.

Life on our high street does not look healthy. As many of you know, we have a family run arts and craft and model shop, and times are tough. We are 35% down on takings for the same time last year.

It is for that reason that I have dusted of my CV and put myself back on the jobs market, but with so many other people loosing their jobs it could be very tough.

Not done a great deal, been out to a Witherspoons pub for lunch, watched a few episodes of Family Guy season seven from the new DVD, watched a couple of Simpsons too, just about to watch Top Gear, contemplating whether I should have a Vodka and coke, I think perhaps I will.

Spent more time working on my script, and my stand up routine. Looking around for a couple of open mike nights, and then I have decided to go for it, if I dont I will regret it wont I?

I went to the Doctors this morning. He had me strip off, I said ‘Are you going to do a full examination?’ He said, ‘No. It’s just that it boosts my confidence when I see somebody who looks worst naked than I do.’

He checked me over, and he said, ‘I have some good news and some bad news.’ I said ‘What’s the good news?’ he said, ‘You are 100% fit and healthy, it’s a long time since I saw anyone in such good health.’ So I said, ‘What’s the bad news?’ and he said, ‘I’m a compulsive liar.’

But I have to be careful because we have a hereditary condition in our family. Death.

My Doctor says I’m a hypochondriac. It’s not true, but it’s the only illness I don’t have.

They say we aught not to drive 4 x 4’s and people carriers, or that we should car pool. I tried that, ruined my upholstery, short circuited my car and I almost drowned. ….

I use a people carrier to go to work, it’s a train.

I do have an off road vehicle, I cant afford to tax and insure it so it’s off the road. My TV’s broken. I can still get a picture, just no sound. ‘It’s OK; I’ve started to put my own words to the pictures. Last Night Natasha Kaplinsky said ‘Yes. Yes. Yes. Give it to me big boy!’

I’m a celebrity is on again, or as I like to call it ‘I’m a has been get me a career again.’ I thought I had read that Paris Hilton was going into the jungle, but I read it wrong. It wasn’t Paris; it was her lesser-known sister Bangkok.

The thing now is, do I have the nerve to get on a stage and do it?

Who the feck is this who keeps 'replying' to my posts?

It's begining too annoy me now.

Etella (Visitor)

http://www.capitalifinance.biz/

Tuesday, Nov. 18, 2008 @ 06.37:21

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Do I look stupid?

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Do people fall for this kind of thing?

I have writen a stand up comedy routine, but I'm not a performer.

Any ideas what I should do with it?

Not sure I could get up on stage and do it myself, I doubt I would remember it all for one thing, and I have never been a fan of speaking to large groups of people, especialy if my material isnt as funny as I think and I get heckled.

But looking up at the sky.

A great ammount of focus has been put on the recent election of Barac Obama in the United States, but would it not be more prudent to focus on his policies, what he is going to bring to his country and the world, and what changes he is going to make.

I have no interest in what colour his skin might be, what his faith may be, what his parental herratige is. It isn't important, It has no barings on anything.

Face facts, when we die, when we decompose and all that remains is a pile of bones, who is going to tell you the tone of your skin then? Underneath, are we not all the same?

It seems that people are complaining abot everything on tv theses days. There was of course the much publisised Ross/Brand fiasco, then last week complaints about a comment Jezza Clarkson made on the fantastic Top Gear. Also last week there were complaints about a joke that Frankie Boyle made on Mock the week about the Queen, this was an episode that was being repeated almost eighteen months after its origonal transmission.

Is it going to get to the point that entertainers, presenters and commedians are going to be so afraid to say anything controversial that TV will become dull and un entertaining?

I do hope not. I am not easily offended, so anything that has many people reaching for the telephone (Why not just try reaching for the off button on the TV instead) goes right over my head. I dont think I can think of a time, ever whern something on TV has offended me to the point that I would go out of my way, and make a special effort to complain.

I dont ever see a time when anything will, unless they began to broadcast public executions.

According to the recent rumour mill, Billie Piper is being considered to play the doctor when David Tennant steps down after the 4 specials. I have no specific problems with a woman playing the roll, I know in sci fi nothing is beyond the realms of possibility, though I dont recall there ever being talk that the doctor could change gender. My only worry would be with Billie 'Rose' Piper in the roll, because she is, and will always be Rose.

How could we take it seriously if after the re generation the Doctor glances at himself in the mirror, to discover he has turned into Rose, the woman he 'loves'.

Dame Judi Dench has apparently also shown an interest in the roll, and another name, some bloke who playerd a Doctor in Eastenders is also being touted.

I know it's all rumour, and I know the makers of the show will keep it close to their chest for some time, but I have discovered a couple of groups on face book putting names forward. Richard Hammond and Russel Brand to name two. As far as I am awhere neither of these two are in fact actors.

I have my own wish list of people who I think would make fantastic Doctors, and my list goes as follows.

1. Michael Gambon.
2. Johnny Depp.
3. Robert Kazinsky.
4. Bill Bailey.
5. Philip Glenister.

They are touring early next year.

Put my trolly load off stuff on the check out, woman staryted scaning, I went to the end of the check out to pack it and there were no bags. I looked down every isle, no bags. Generaly I would take a couple of bags for life (Or as I call them, bags for a hamsters life) but they are in the car, and Michelle has gone to work in the car, I was on the bus.

The checkout woman continued to scan the items, and they continued to build up.

"Excuse me." I said. "Do you have any bags?"

"No." she said, and continued to scan my goods.

"No?" I saked. "What do you mean 'No'.?"

She said, "We havnt got any bags today?"

So what, they suddenly had a mad rush on and somebody cleaned them out? Enviromentalists raded the store in the night and sold them?

"And how pray, do ypu sugest I get my shopping home, Levitation?" I asked.

So she called a superviser, and she came along and gave me a handfull of those little tiny bags that you put your veg in.

Are they trying to take the piss or what?

There is a great big pigeon (OK it's not that big) sitting on the lamp post outside our house and just staring at me through the window. It's been there for about half an hour now and it's starting to freak me out....

enjoy....

But I cant help worry that some far right neo nazi idiot is going to attempt to make a stand.

I hope very much that I'm wrong and everybody gets behind the new President.

Time I guess will tell.

Lets just hope the future is a rosey one.

That's me....

I am trying to set up an e commerce zen cart web site, and the instructions may as well be in arabic!

We bought one of those big tins of quality street for the trick or treaters that would come calling on halloweeen last week. We only had two little kids knock, who each took two sweets.

Over the past couple of days Michelle and I have just about finished off the entire tin between us.

Is it possible to OD on chocolate?

I know it's an extreme view, but I dont care, they should learn to shut the f**k up!

Went to see the new Bond movie yesterday and two oiks sitting on the row behind us didnt shut up through the entire movie.

Why do they not have ushers like they used to and throw them out, then stand them against the wall and shoot them?

Please note, some of the above must be taken tongue in cheek, I do not endorse violence in any way